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” A warning is also offered: “if you decide to continue with your childless relationship, there could be a price to pay in the future.” Shit. Even the use of the word “childless” implies that her life is not as fulfilling as it could be and that she is in some ways depriving herself of a great pleasure, as opposed to “child-free”, which would suggest possibility and opportunity, and an existence liberated from the shackles of the womb.

Having read that I’m left feeling like I should have a baby myself right here, right now, even though no one has begged me to be his baby’s mama! Why the suggestion that the woman who asked for advice will be, in effect, letting her partner down?

If it passed the House it would repeat the same process over again in the Senate.

Do a lot of men, in fact, just want to settle down, and nest with their chosen lady? Just a short amount of searching on a London ad website (on which, I was told, it’s possible to get anything from a hair cut to a dinner date and a second-hand copy of the Goonies) yielded this, this and this, showcasing three men who are willing to offer their “help” to women to get them pregnant, with one ad in particular tinged with pitiful desperation. But can men such as these ever be given credibility, when they are expecting a woman to basically relinquish control of her body just so that they can point their erect cocks at her swollen body and smile with pride as they say “I did that.” Err, no thanks.

Are they, too, acutely aware of their need to procreate by a certain age, their genitals tingling at the thought as if their ball sacks are filled to bursting with sherbet and fizzy lemonade? But I wonder how widespread this is, which is why I wanted to write this piece, motivated in part by a recent advice piece in a women’s glossy magazine: I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 32.

If the Senate amended the bill in any way, the two chambers would have to work out the differences.

If a woman doesn’t hatch a sprog by the time she reaches 35 her ovaries begin to vibrate. They start purring like a pair of pagers belonging to doctors working on call on the very same night binge drinking has been made compulsory and every car dealership throughout the land is offering free, unsupervised test-drives of their most expensive, fastest cars to all their customers. Your womb could cough out fresh-faced babes with the best of ‘em should you wish to lie back and think of England (or Scotland or Ireland or Wales or anywhere else in the world of your choosing).

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And is it a phenomenon as such, or something that’s always been hidden behind the male use of gross sexual innuendo and generic penchant for photo-shopped daguerreotypes of big naked breasts?

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